The pace of you.

Everybody has their own pace of leading life. When a child is born, it* is innocent and learns to grow with curiosity.The curiosity in a soul needs to be kept alive so a person evolves and grows, and eventually feels enlightened enough to choose a life path for itself *.

But the naivety is gradually crushed when there is pressure on one to decide and lead its life as per the time frame defined by us in the first place.

I do not mean that one must be aimless in life and kill time doing absolutely nothing (not judging. If you afford to do that and are happy, who cares), but it is pure unjust for a person to rush through its’ life because it is meant to. A lot of people just want to pause too often, look around, and observe the beauty in a thousand ignored things, in nature or elsewhere, and resume when they are ready.  If everybody focused on moving fast, the world  would be an over competitive place to be in, where a lot of people would end up being depressed or cuckoo.

Time is relative, but perception is subjective. Perception exists, and it is not a made up word. It is not imaginary. Hence, pace is relative to each individual. 

I do not mean to demean people who are fast in life, Of course they have a pace too and good for them they are quick. Maybe they want their lives like that, but, maybe the people who are slower have different priorities than getting married at the right age or earning a billion before they are 40. But since now we are all measured in terms of possessions, the “slower” ones are brutally termed as unsuccessful.

Whoever said life is a race must have been really fast. “Appropriate” time as set up by others can be daunting emotionally to people. Looking at the world passing by on social media makes one feel that everyone is achieving great things while you are behind your mobile phones aimlessly scrolling, but, no one is going to put up their failures online so you don’t know what the other persons’ struggles are and how it is coping with them.

Which makes me wonder, why are failures a taboo? Isn’t that a part of growing as well? I believe it is high time topics like these were sabotaged from the list of being embarrassed about.

People need time to experiment their love lives, their professional lives, in fact even their spiritual life, and it should be okay to try and really know, that this is it. This is where I belong and this is my call. One needs to be satisfied with what they end up doing before reaching their deathbeds, instead of living in mediocrity only because it was time. Life is too special to be mediocre.

*Wrote “itself”  for convenience, and not to objectify humans. Kindly replace with Himself/herself or whatever you identify with J

The Girl in the Park

"Sometimes it's not about the happy ending, it's about the story"

It happened this morning. A true incident with names changed.

The five of us were sitting on the grass. Since the time we have started working, none of us seem to meet too often. A random hello over the phone is what we suffice with. It is not really that we do not get time to meet, but generally it is just the two or three of us meeting at the same time.

Today, we met.

Each of us had major issues for being not so excited. I was really angry. For an hour, I waited for everyone to come. The plan for 7 am had shifted to 8 am because some were too lazy to wake up. By the time everyone else was here, I was too bored to talk. 

Akash's bike had a puncture while coming. How pissed off would he be to wake up on time and be the unfortunate one out of the thousands crossing the road to have met that one piece of nail lying on the road waiting to get in the tyre. 

Ayana slept at 3 am. The boyfriend and she had a fight over the plans for next weekend. Was a rough day to wake up early only to find out two new pimples on the forehead. 

Priti and Ornob have major ego issues. The typical best friends now enemies over the time because each was too much a snob to take the first step after a fight. 

But here, we meet. Fake smiles at its peak. We did not think it would be so awkward to meet your own friends. But the awkwardness did not last long. After someone showed off her new phone while the other showed off her engagement ring, the ice had broken.

We started doing what we love. Gossip. It seemed like the best way to get rid of the frustration of all the heaviness we had in our minds since morning.

Just then, a girl about the age of 23, called out : Hey ! how are you?

She came to us and sat with us. Each one of us wondered who she knew out of us. Hi, she said to Priti. Priti smiled and said Hi. She probably is her friend, I thought.
She sat down and greeted all of us.

She was a usual girl. Nothing too beautiful about her. Tidy hair, a few pimples, a big smile and chipped nail paint. She said hello to each one of us. Uninterested, we said hello as well. And then, Priti asked her if they had met before. 

The girl said no. But she likes to meet new people. All the others thought she was some lame girl trying to butt in and although we were totally uninterested, none of us had the audacity to ask her to leave. So here she was. Smiling and asking us questions like she was an old buddy.
'I loves Pizza and cold drinks'. 

She asks us who else loves Pizza. All of us smiled. Maybe it was the Pizza or her chirpiness. I don't really know, but she was starting to be not boring. I said I love Pizza, and so did Akash. She declares that people who love Pizza are really nice. 

"What are your names?"

We tell her our names and she asks Priti why she did not like pizzas?

Ayana tells her she is too diet conscious to have pizzas.

'Oh so you must love to exercise?'

'Yes, I do' said Priti.

'Can you do this?'. The girl lies down on her back, lifts her legs and then her back, balancing herself on her neck. We found it really weird. A little embarassing to be at a public place, seeing stuff like this, we kind of ignored it.

Ornob gets a call. He excuses us and leaves. She asks if he was talking to his girlfriend. We really had no clue. We ask her to ask him once he is back. Ornob comes back and she does ask him. He said why do you care?

We thought she would get offended, but instead she smiles and says I am just curious. I have a boyfriend so please do not flatter yourself assuming I am interested.

All of us roar with laughter.

She grabs her phone and shows us a picture of a teddy bear. She tells us its called Bobo and it is her boyfriend.

While she kept her phone down, I notice a big cut on her wrist. A big one. I was taken aback. I start to notice she indeed had been a little different. I ask her whether she is done studying. She says she was waiting for her High school results. She seemed atleast 5 years older than a High school girl.

Just then a man in his late 40s passes by. He comes to us and asks us if the girl is bothering us. We smile and tell him it is really fine. The girl tells him to take another jog and come back for her. It was her father.

He smiles and asks us if that would be okay and leaves.

She asks us if we were cousins or actual brothers and sisters. The naive question made us smile. Ayana tells her we were friends.

She tells us she had five friends, but now just four. Assuming she fought with one of her friends, we did not bother to ask why just four now. She shows us a picture of her fifth friend.

It was a lady in her late 30s. She looks at the sky. She tells us that is her mother. 

She looks up and says : I would never talk to you again mother. You left me alone and went to see God. I cannot forgive you, I cannot forget you. Her eyes are damp. But she is still smiling. She tells us she only talks to her 'new mother' now and other than her, she has her father, brother and her teddy as her friends.

She says her back is a little sore with the injection she got yesterday on her neck. It really pains. And the sleeping pills prescribed to her really taste bad. But she takes 30 medicines. Everyday. 

Since her mother died 5 years ago, when she was in High school and had appeared for her exams, she went into a coma. For six months. But she was happy that when she woke up, her entire family hugged her with love. She could not speak of walk, but her smile gave others smile. Her tears got others to tears. So she learnt to smile. She had nothing to lose. Why cry?

By this time, all of us were putting a fake smile again. Only this time, the fake smile was to hide the tears. The girl had a condition called Brain fever and Meningitis. From what I could judge, she was still in the past. Explaining why she still thought she had her high school results pending. 

Then she suddenly breaks into a song. A very peppy one. And asks us to sing along. She sang beautifully. And then tells us she paints when at home and loves photography. Infact she is a member of a group called 'Drashtikon' which is for amateur photographers who are really good at it.

She asks Priti if she could get her a candy and Priti gets her one. She shares it with all of us and asks how much to pay for it. Priti told her not to be silly and she smiles even more.

The girl was sick.
But was she?

She tried to be happy. She sang, ate a candy, spoke her heart out, acted the way she wanted to and left. We, on the other hand were being petty about pimples, time and biketyres. Priti and Ornob glanced at each other and the airs of egos were cleared.

All our issues seemed petty.

Now as we saw it, the girl was pretty.

And we still do not know her name.